Aubarn Alumnus Of The Day!

Cue the opening cords of "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynrd...

...and we have a new anthem for the many outstanding men and women who hold degrees from *U, particularly the fine *ubarn alumnus featured in the photograph above!

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

AUbarn Alumnus Of The Day!

Haggard Wal-mart jersey: check!

Old-school *ubarn trucker hat: check!

Gangster bandana: check!

Excessively long, white trash beard: check!

Stoner/Drunken eyes: check!

We have ourselves another winner here!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

AUbarn Alumnus Of The Day: Celebrity Edition!

Hello my fellow *ubarn alums and WAR EAGLE!

As you're all aware, *ubarn University has had a strong cultural and historical impact in the United State since its creation (and not much has changed in Lee County since the 1800s), mainly in the film industry.

The magnificent specimen featured below helped develop a creature in one of the most popular film franchises of all time: Jurassic Park! Even Cadillac "Sociology Major" Williams flew back to Wire Road, just to get a pic standing alongside this notable Aubarn alumna.

 Joe Johnston and the rest of the JP3 crew modeled the velociraptor from Jurassic Park 3 after the gorgeous *ubarn alum featured in the photograph above. Note the hair on both creatures.

So this further proves we here at *ubarn University are more than just a cow AND roofing college... we've even had famous creatures modeled after a few of our alums!

Until tomorrow...

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

*ubarn Alumnus Of The Day: MEMORIAL DAY EDITION!!!!!!

And in honor of the annual memorial day, we wanted to showcase a very memorable classy alumna...

...and just what exactly makes this marvelous *ubarn Alumna memorable? Well, if you've ever got an extra $2.00 to spare, or an extra pack of Newport Menthols, this fine *ubarn woman will show you the time of your life! She usually works Updyke's Corner on weekdays and Wire Road on the weekends, FYI! She is literally someone you have to experience to believe... just ask any fine *ubarn man (or *ubarn donkey for that matter) who's ever been privileged enough to visit cow town (which is all *ubarn men and women considering ALL barn fans hold degrees from *U)!

TAMMY EAT YOUR HEART OUT, BITCH!

Aubarn Alumnus of the Day!

Aubarn U is MORE than just a cow college...

Who knew Aubarn University offered degrees in roofing too? So next time an Alabammer fan refers to barn U as a "cow college", please let said Bammer know we're more than just a cow college... we're a roofing college as well!

Don't believe me? Then just ask this proud *ubarn grad, featured above, what college he studied at!

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

Aubarn Alumnus Of The Day!

Ladies and gentlemen of the Wire Road family, I present to you today's AUbarn alumnus of the day!

This outstanding Aubarn alumnus may not have much going for him in life, but all that matters are the more important things: his beloved alma mater and his kick-ass Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan) handlebar! Should I also note the fascinating pony tail?

There's no questioning exactly where his alma mater - Aubarn University - ranks in his life... number 1, baby!

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

Aubarn Alumnus Of The Day!

Permed mullet: check! Ponytail: check! Backwards hat: check! Cigarette: check! Ear rings: check!

Those, ladies and gentlemen, are all the ingredients needed to mold the quintessential *ubarn Man! It's almost as if *ubarn University was showing off whenever they produced this fine *ubarn grad.

Though I don't exactly know this *ubarn alums major, I can only assume it was bad-ass because this fine *ubarn gentleman is a bad-ass himself!

Until tomorrow...

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

Aubarn Alumnus Of The Day!

For our debut *ubarn Alumnus Of The Day, we truly wanted to make this post memorable! We wanted to specifically target an exceptionally special *ubarn Man to showcase and you're in luck as I believe we found the perfect alum!

We members of the *ubarn family may say we don't shop at Wal-Mart, but there comes a time in every *ubarn alums life when whichever store it is we do frequent is sold out of the supplies we may need, thus forcing us to resort to settling on Wally World.

Here's an instance where a fine *ubarn Man had to settle for Wal-Mart:

This fine *ubarn man is wearing an *ubarn shirt because he WENT to *ubarn; your'e wearing that 'Bama shirt because you went to Wal-Mart!

The money shot:

I'm sorry Mr. Dave Chappelle, but you had it wrong: crack is one helluva drug - and we *ubarn men and women firmly support your habit!

As evident by the photos, sometimes we *ubarn men and women have no problem making sacrifices in our lives when needs be necessary! We may protest Wal-Mart, but if Wal-Mart was the only option, we'd gladly support their business!

Until tomorrow... WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!

Welcome to *ubarn Alumnus Of The Day!

The purpose of this blog is to simply showcase the fine men, women and farm animals who worked endlessly and tirelessly toward accomplishing their nostalgic childhood dreams: graduating from *ubarn, AL University with a degree in Sociology, Tomato Planting, Mobile Home Interior Decorating, artificial insemination, etc.!


We're going to cover a wide variety of goathumpers aka AUtards aka barnzoes aka *ubarn, AL fans for as many days as we possibly can, or at least until the cultish "Ever To Cheat Foundation" comes after us, to which we'll then showcase a few of their more avid followers (who are also grads of barn U mind you).


So in the meantime, enjoy! And if you have a digital photograph of a fellow *ubarn (AL) grad you'd like to see showcased on this blog, feel free to send it in.

At *ubarn, AL, we're an incestuous family (unlike big brother) who all holds degrees from our beloved alma mater (unlike big brother who has absolutely NO alums whatsoever)! And here at *ubarn Alumnus Of The Day, we're going to honor the fine graduates of barn U (and there are a PLETHORA of barn grads out there)!

And always remember, *ubarn grads would NEVER dawn the doors of a Wal-Mart... unless of course they're posing for a header photo for this blog!

The fine *ubarn men and women featured in the photograph above are wearing those *ubarn shirts because they WENT to *ubarn... you're wearing that 'Bama shirt because you went to Wal-Mart!

WAR DAMN EAGLE, HEY!